Können Sie Mir Helfen?

"Can you help me?"  And so it has been uttered...the words of doom for Mums like me.  Did I fail to mention I'm not the go to person for Math?  I was just thinking of this yesterday and now it has finally come upon me.  Again.  I don't know what it is with numbers that cause my brain to short circuit (not that it was working super well with my brand of crazy in the first place) but really, the words polynomial, binomial or tri-fricking-nomial has the same effect on me as eating toothpaste and grass for lunch.  Paralyzing.    These events come quite regularly  the whole school year that I have designed some retorts when we start getting into arguments about Math:

"How can I forget Algebra?!  (Thought bubble--I don't think I ever learned it)  Well, you just learned it this morning and now you don't remember anymore.  What do you expect from me ?!"

"What?!  We're paying your school this much and still I end up teaching you this?!"

"Who--what is my name?  Who are you and where is your mother?!" 

Maybe it's doubly frightening now because of the fear that my kid's image of me as some kind of a superhero is disintegrating.  Bad news huh?  Mum's human.  I feel so much for the boy.  His brain is half-mine!  I felt so much for him I made apple butter yesterday (which just comprises stewing apples in some apple cider, sugar and spices) for today's Kartoffelpuffer mit Apfelmus (German Potato Pancakes with Applesauce) and Königsberger Klopse (Poached Meatballs in Lemon and Caper Sauce).  Please don't ask me how to pronounce these. I don't know how.  

I got the recipes from this ancient book The Cooking of Germany printed in 1969. Hopefully this will remind him of my superhero status--at least in the kitchen department.  Guten Appetit!